1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:11,000 Sync by fant0m www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:12,130 --> 00:00:15,461 'Til Death is filmed in front of a live studio audience. 3 00:00:16,830 --> 00:00:18,531 Okay, here comes our waitress. 4 00:00:18,599 --> 00:00:19,666 Everybody close your menus, 5 00:00:19,733 --> 00:00:21,133 Get your fork and knife in the go positions 6 00:00:21,201 --> 00:00:23,502 So she knows we're ready to order. Come on. 7 00:00:23,570 --> 00:00:25,504 Looks like you guys need some more time. 8 00:00:25,572 --> 00:00:26,972 I'll be back in a minute. 9 00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:29,775 No, no...see, she's not going to be back in a minute. 10 00:00:29,842 --> 00:00:30,976 That's a dirty lie. 11 00:00:31,044 --> 00:00:33,312 Come on, let's get it together, people! 12 00:00:33,380 --> 00:00:35,481 Okay, I think I'm going to get the veggie burger. 13 00:00:35,548 --> 00:00:37,349 No, I don't want the veggie burger. 14 00:00:37,417 --> 00:00:38,684 What does it have to do with you? 15 00:00:38,752 --> 00:00:40,752 Because I'm going to spend 10 bucks for a burger, 16 00:00:40,820 --> 00:00:43,255 She's gonna take 2 bites of it and say she's full. 17 00:00:43,323 --> 00:00:46,691 Who do you think's going to eat the leftovers, Boxcar Willy? 18 00:00:46,759 --> 00:00:49,853 Come on, just go with the eggplant. 19 00:00:49,917 --> 00:00:51,114 Daddy, how many times do I have to tell you, 20 00:00:51,182 --> 00:00:52,546 I don't like eggplant. 21 00:00:52,613 --> 00:00:54,340 Oh, oh, okay! 22 00:00:54,408 --> 00:00:57,936 I can get the eggplant if you'd like, sir. 23 00:00:58,004 --> 00:01:00,304 I'm not ready to share food with you. 24 00:01:00,372 --> 00:01:02,805 Well, I should probably tell you 25 00:01:02,873 --> 00:01:05,674 That I've used your soap. 26 00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:16,813 Okay, here she comes. 27 00:01:16,881 --> 00:01:18,781 Everybody, close your menus. Close your menus. 28 00:01:18,849 --> 00:01:20,249 But I haven't picked yet. 29 00:01:20,317 --> 00:01:22,251 No, you're done, grape nut. 30 00:01:23,687 --> 00:01:25,287 Hey. Are you guys ready to order? 31 00:01:25,355 --> 00:01:27,222 Yes, we are, Dina. 32 00:01:27,290 --> 00:01:30,392 Okay. Why don't you start us off, Allie? 33 00:01:30,460 --> 00:01:32,594 I'm going to have the ravioli. 34 00:01:32,662 --> 00:01:33,795 I'll have the salmon. 35 00:01:33,863 --> 00:01:35,197 And do... 36 00:01:35,264 --> 00:01:39,000 Do you have some sort of vegetable pie or something? 37 00:01:39,067 --> 00:01:42,268 We have a plate of grilled vegetables. 38 00:01:42,336 --> 00:01:45,637 As I'm not allowed to look at the menu for other options, 39 00:01:45,705 --> 00:01:47,472 I'll have that. 40 00:01:47,540 --> 00:01:51,274 Dina, I'm gonna go with the tuscan steak. 41 00:01:51,342 --> 00:01:55,111 Now, you know how on the plate they have the fries and the salad? 42 00:01:58,915 --> 00:02:01,016 And if you could hollow out a little nest in the middle 43 00:02:01,083 --> 00:02:03,518 For the ketchup, that'd be marvelous. 44 00:02:03,585 --> 00:02:05,252 Ketchup nest. Got it. 45 00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:06,886 Okay. Now, 46 00:02:06,954 --> 00:02:08,755 Please remember, when I say more fries, 47 00:02:08,822 --> 00:02:12,124 Take into account that I'm the size of one and a half people. 48 00:02:12,191 --> 00:02:13,792 So... 49 00:02:13,859 --> 00:02:16,660 You know what, I'm not even going to put them on the plate. 50 00:02:16,728 --> 00:02:18,728 I'm gonna bring them over in a wheelbarrow. 51 00:02:18,796 --> 00:02:22,098 Oh, I like the cut of your jib. 52 00:02:22,165 --> 00:02:23,566 Thank you. Yep. 53 00:02:23,633 --> 00:02:24,900 Thank you, darling. Thank you. 54 00:02:24,968 --> 00:02:26,935 Thank you. Thanks. 55 00:02:27,003 --> 00:02:29,404 Oh, and, it's wheelbarrel. 56 00:02:31,073 --> 00:02:32,873 Wheelbarrel. 57 00:02:32,941 --> 00:02:35,408 Barrel. You said wheelbarrow. 58 00:02:35,476 --> 00:02:39,311 It's just...Giving you a little head's up. 59 00:02:42,481 --> 00:02:45,550 Thank you? 60 00:02:50,456 --> 00:02:54,192 What? I was just trying to be helpful. 61 00:02:54,259 --> 00:02:55,760 I mean, if I were mispronouncing a word, 62 00:02:55,828 --> 00:02:58,563 I would want someone to tell me. 63 00:02:58,630 --> 00:03:00,498 Would you now? 64 00:03:01,734 --> 00:03:03,935 Yes. 65 00:03:04,003 --> 00:03:05,703 What? What is going on? 66 00:03:05,771 --> 00:03:06,871 Oh, what is going on is, 67 00:03:06,939 --> 00:03:09,707 It is actually wheelbarrow. 68 00:03:09,775 --> 00:03:12,744 No, it's not. That's ridiculous. 69 00:03:12,812 --> 00:03:15,080 It's wheelbarrel, barrel. 70 00:03:15,147 --> 00:03:17,916 It's a barrel with a wheel on it. 71 00:03:17,983 --> 00:03:22,654 Except...That it isn't. 72 00:03:25,993 --> 00:03:27,460 Yeah...it is. 73 00:03:27,527 --> 00:03:29,162 Barrel is a word. 74 00:03:29,230 --> 00:03:30,597 What the hell is barrow? 75 00:03:30,664 --> 00:03:33,500 The right way to say it. 76 00:03:34,702 --> 00:03:39,540 No, it's wheelbarrel. Wheelbarrel. 77 00:03:39,608 --> 00:03:40,908 Okay, look, stop saying wheelbarrel, 78 00:03:40,976 --> 00:03:42,643 You sound like a hillbilly. 79 00:03:42,711 --> 00:03:45,245 Yeah, you know, it's not a big deal. 80 00:03:45,313 --> 00:03:48,683 You remember, I used to think that these were called eyebrowns. 81 00:03:50,485 --> 00:03:53,120 You thought that when you were 3. 82 00:03:54,489 --> 00:03:56,923 Here's some bread. 83 00:03:56,991 --> 00:04:00,658 And your wheelbarrel of fries. 84 00:04:27,498 --> 00:04:30,195 So... 85 00:04:33,794 --> 00:04:35,926 You really didn't think it was pronounced wheelbarrel... 86 00:04:35,994 --> 00:04:38,791 Oh, my God! Do I not feel bad enough already?! 87 00:04:38,859 --> 00:04:40,624 Sorry, sorry. 88 00:04:40,692 --> 00:04:43,723 Eddie? 89 00:04:43,791 --> 00:04:45,490 Can I ask you something? 90 00:04:45,558 --> 00:04:47,922 Do you think that I'm dumb? 91 00:04:47,990 --> 00:04:50,422 No! Good. 92 00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:53,155 'cause sometimes I think that I am. 93 00:04:53,223 --> 00:04:56,155 Honey, one little silly word. Come on! 94 00:04:56,222 --> 00:04:58,987 It's not about the stupid wheelbarrel thing, okay? 95 00:04:59,054 --> 00:05:00,953 It's because... barrow. 96 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:04,252 What? 97 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:05,551 Wheelbarrow. 98 00:05:07,052 --> 00:05:10,583 It's okay, because every time I go somewhere, 99 00:05:10,651 --> 00:05:12,184 I feel like there is a sign over my head 100 00:05:12,251 --> 00:05:14,250 Saying that I didn't finish college. 101 00:05:14,317 --> 00:05:18,482 Like, at work and parties and at restaurants. 102 00:05:18,549 --> 00:05:20,747 I mean, Allie is almost through her junior year, 103 00:05:20,815 --> 00:05:24,280 And I'm just her doofus mom that reads celebrity magazines. 104 00:05:24,348 --> 00:05:27,346 Do you realize that I can name every country 105 00:05:27,413 --> 00:05:29,515 Where angelina's children are from? 106 00:05:29,583 --> 00:05:33,790 But I can't point to any one of them on a map! 107 00:05:33,857 --> 00:05:36,425 Honey, come...all right, don't, please. 108 00:05:36,493 --> 00:05:39,326 So geography's not your subject. 109 00:05:39,394 --> 00:05:42,296 I'm a travel agent! 110 00:05:43,398 --> 00:05:46,097 I mean, even you make me feel like a dope. 111 00:05:46,164 --> 00:05:48,596 You teach, you read books, 112 00:05:48,664 --> 00:05:52,066 You write in cursive. 113 00:05:52,133 --> 00:05:54,067 Look, hone just because I have 114 00:05:54,135 --> 00:05:55,434 A little more thirst for knowledge, 115 00:05:55,502 --> 00:05:57,001 It's no big deal. 116 00:05:57,069 --> 00:05:59,269 You have your strengths. 117 00:05:59,337 --> 00:06:00,336 I do? 118 00:06:00,404 --> 00:06:01,635 Yes. 119 00:06:01,703 --> 00:06:03,136 You know, I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. 120 00:06:03,204 --> 00:06:05,540 Sometimes I actually think of us 121 00:06:05,608 --> 00:06:08,742 As arthur miller and marilyn monroe. 122 00:06:08,810 --> 00:06:10,911 What? 123 00:06:10,979 --> 00:06:13,980 Well, I'm tall, jewish and intellectual, 124 00:06:14,048 --> 00:06:17,215 And you're famous for your boobies. 125 00:06:17,282 --> 00:06:18,583 I mean, not worldwide, 126 00:06:18,650 --> 00:06:22,185 But, I mean, like at the market and such. 127 00:06:22,252 --> 00:06:25,621 I don't want to be known for my boobies. 128 00:06:25,689 --> 00:06:27,521 All right. Joy-Joy, 129 00:06:27,589 --> 00:06:29,521 Let me tell you something. What? 130 00:06:29,589 --> 00:06:31,555 You can be a phd, physicist, 131 00:06:31,622 --> 00:06:35,554 Astronaut, and I'm still gonna be lookin' right there. 132 00:06:39,788 --> 00:06:42,553 I want to go back to school. 133 00:06:42,621 --> 00:06:43,886 What? 134 00:06:43,954 --> 00:06:47,156 Yeah, I think that getting back into the academic world 135 00:06:47,224 --> 00:06:48,625 Would be good for me. 136 00:06:48,693 --> 00:06:52,092 It would force me to use my brain again. 137 00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:54,326 All of this because you don't know how to pronounce wheelbarrow? 138 00:06:54,393 --> 00:06:56,525 You don't have to go back to school, 139 00:06:56,593 --> 00:06:58,858 You gotta go to a farm. 140 00:07:03,025 --> 00:07:05,624 I'm serious. 141 00:07:05,691 --> 00:07:07,524 They have classes at the community college. 142 00:07:07,591 --> 00:07:09,057 I could go at night. 143 00:07:09,125 --> 00:07:11,424 Night? No, not night. That's our time. 144 00:07:11,491 --> 00:07:13,424 That's when I watch tv downstairs 145 00:07:13,491 --> 00:07:15,590 And you watch tv upstairs. 146 00:07:15,658 --> 00:07:19,157 You are not being supportive at all! 147 00:07:19,225 --> 00:07:20,924 Honey, I just don't think you have the patience 148 00:07:20,991 --> 00:07:23,090 At this point in your life to go back to school. 149 00:07:23,158 --> 00:07:25,456 I mean, you didn't have it back then. 150 00:07:25,524 --> 00:07:29,097 You couldn't even finish because you were drinking and partying. 151 00:07:29,165 --> 00:07:30,891 That's not true! I didn't finish 152 00:07:30,958 --> 00:07:32,847 Because you got me pregnant! 153 00:07:32,915 --> 00:07:36,517 To stop you from drinking and partying. 154 00:07:39,623 --> 00:07:43,292 Listen, I don't want to go back to college to party. 155 00:07:43,359 --> 00:07:45,193 I'm an adult. 156 00:07:45,261 --> 00:07:46,994 I want to go back because... 157 00:07:47,062 --> 00:07:51,298 I don't know, the closer Allie gets to getting her degree, 158 00:07:51,366 --> 00:07:55,169 The worse I feel about not having mine. 159 00:07:55,237 --> 00:07:56,771 All right. 160 00:07:56,839 --> 00:07:58,306 Look. 161 00:07:58,373 --> 00:07:59,974 If that's what you want, 162 00:08:00,042 --> 00:08:01,776 You go for it. 163 00:08:01,843 --> 00:08:02,843 Okay? 164 00:08:02,911 --> 00:08:04,144 Really? 165 00:08:04,212 --> 00:08:06,079 Oh, thank you. 166 00:08:06,147 --> 00:08:09,183 And I'm telling you, by this time next year, 167 00:08:09,250 --> 00:08:12,085 I will totally know how to say wheelbarrel. 168 00:08:13,254 --> 00:08:15,055 Barrow. 169 00:08:15,123 --> 00:08:19,593 God, it just does not sound right at all. 170 00:08:19,660 --> 00:08:21,294 It is, though. 171 00:08:24,999 --> 00:08:28,201 Ah, there she is. Look at my school girl! 172 00:08:29,903 --> 00:08:31,504 What do you think of those glasses? 173 00:08:31,572 --> 00:08:33,706 Man, I love those glasses. 174 00:08:33,774 --> 00:08:35,675 Yeah? What about the pencil in the hair? 175 00:08:35,742 --> 00:08:37,943 Whoo, I'd like her to take it out and shake it out! 176 00:08:38,011 --> 00:08:39,345 You know what I'm gonna do? 177 00:08:39,413 --> 00:08:40,846 I am going to take a picture 178 00:08:40,914 --> 00:08:42,815 And send it to the local newspaper, 179 00:08:42,883 --> 00:08:45,918 "hard livin' housewife hits the books." 180 00:08:45,986 --> 00:08:47,186 Now take one of me 181 00:08:47,253 --> 00:08:50,756 Being a professor who's very impressed with her work. 182 00:08:50,823 --> 00:08:52,224 Got it. 183 00:08:52,292 --> 00:08:53,892 Okay, now take one of me 184 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:55,260 Being a professor who just gave her an "a" 185 00:08:55,328 --> 00:08:56,762 For inappropriate reasons. 186 00:08:56,829 --> 00:08:58,530 You gotta sit in my lap for this one. 187 00:09:00,366 --> 00:09:03,034 Okay, you know what, why don't you take a picture of me failing, 188 00:09:03,102 --> 00:09:04,202 Because that is exactly what's going to happen 189 00:09:04,270 --> 00:09:05,337 If I don't finish this paper. 190 00:09:05,404 --> 00:09:06,538 It's due tomorrow! 191 00:09:06,606 --> 00:09:07,405 All right, honey. 192 00:09:07,473 --> 00:09:08,773 It's just, we're so proud of you. 193 00:09:08,841 --> 00:09:10,075 We are. You know what we're going to do, 194 00:09:10,142 --> 00:09:11,409 We're gonna go in the living room, 195 00:09:11,477 --> 00:09:13,278 Watch a little tv, okay? No, no, no! 196 00:09:13,345 --> 00:09:14,846 I need the living room. My study group is coming over. 197 00:09:14,914 --> 00:09:17,282 I need you out of the house. 198 00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:20,351 Will anybody in your study group be bringing crudit�s? 199 00:09:22,354 --> 00:09:23,955 Do you not know what that means? 200 00:09:24,023 --> 00:09:26,090 Get out. 201 00:09:32,774 --> 00:09:34,607 We gotta move, people. Come on! 202 00:09:34,675 --> 00:09:37,410 How about we go over Marbury vs. Madison again, 203 00:09:37,478 --> 00:09:39,611 'cause I am not entirely clear on that. 204 00:09:39,679 --> 00:09:41,580 No, you know what I'm not entirely clear on? 205 00:09:41,648 --> 00:09:44,516 Is why it's Thursday night, 9:30, 206 00:09:44,583 --> 00:09:47,385 And we're not at a bar. 207 00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:51,221 What...no, we have a lot to do. 208 00:09:51,289 --> 00:09:52,622 We cannot go out drinking. 209 00:09:52,690 --> 00:09:53,790 You know what, you're right. 210 00:09:53,858 --> 00:09:55,725 We'll drink here. 211 00:09:57,261 --> 00:09:58,694 Hello, liquor cabinet! 212 00:09:58,762 --> 00:09:59,928 Hey, no. No liquor, no. 213 00:09:59,996 --> 00:10:01,997 I have to do this. You guys are young, 214 00:10:02,065 --> 00:10:03,865 You can afford to screw up your lives. 215 00:10:03,933 --> 00:10:06,200 I am out of second chances. 216 00:10:06,268 --> 00:10:07,701 Joy, you're tense. 217 00:10:07,769 --> 00:10:10,838 I mean, you got a lot on your plate. 218 00:10:10,906 --> 00:10:12,606 You got full-time job. 219 00:10:12,674 --> 00:10:14,274 You've got your own house here 220 00:10:14,342 --> 00:10:17,610 That you probably have to, you know, vacuum and stuff. 221 00:10:17,677 --> 00:10:20,378 You know, plus you're going back to school. 222 00:10:20,446 --> 00:10:22,546 And that must be stressful. 223 00:10:22,614 --> 00:10:25,082 It is stressful. 224 00:10:25,149 --> 00:10:26,816 You deserve some you time. I do. 225 00:10:26,884 --> 00:10:29,319 I mean, what... What's the problem? 226 00:10:29,386 --> 00:10:32,187 Do you don't like to drink? 227 00:10:34,990 --> 00:10:38,292 I love to drink. 228 00:10:42,196 --> 00:10:43,863 Yes! 229 00:10:43,931 --> 00:10:45,597 Like that? 230 00:10:45,665 --> 00:10:47,899 College rocks! 231 00:10:52,737 --> 00:10:55,572 Oh, hi, baby! 232 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:58,108 This is my study group. 233 00:10:59,143 --> 00:11:00,510 Baby, could you run down to the corner 234 00:11:00,578 --> 00:11:02,946 And get mama Joy-Joy some menthols? 235 00:11:05,082 --> 00:11:07,250 Mom, are you drunk? 236 00:11:07,318 --> 00:11:10,286 I hope so, because we are out of booze. 237 00:11:10,354 --> 00:11:12,621 Okay, all right, guys, party's over. 238 00:11:12,688 --> 00:11:14,456 Let's go, everyone. Out, out, out, out. 239 00:11:14,523 --> 00:11:15,890 Let's go. Come on. 240 00:11:15,958 --> 00:11:18,326 Bye, Joy. Okay, come on, mom. Let's get up! 241 00:11:18,394 --> 00:11:20,428 Come on, let's get up. Okay. 242 00:11:20,496 --> 00:11:21,629 Oh, hey, man. 243 00:11:21,697 --> 00:11:24,963 Do you know where I can score some... 244 00:11:25,031 --> 00:11:28,060 Yeah, I do. But get out. 245 00:11:28,128 --> 00:11:32,128 Doug, she is wasted. 246 00:11:32,196 --> 00:11:33,496 That's ok, that's okay, 247 00:11:33,563 --> 00:11:35,530 I used to work the bad trip tent at burning man. 248 00:11:35,598 --> 00:11:37,602 All right, hey, dude! 249 00:11:37,670 --> 00:11:41,141 Dude, your face is not melting. 250 00:11:41,208 --> 00:11:44,510 It just feels like it is, okay? 251 00:11:44,578 --> 00:11:46,945 Oh, my God, dad's home. 252 00:11:47,013 --> 00:11:48,613 Oh, God, dad, he can't see me like this. 253 00:11:48,681 --> 00:11:51,316 No, he was so proud. He took pictures. 254 00:11:52,617 --> 00:11:53,650 Hide me. 255 00:11:53,718 --> 00:11:56,086 Let's hide her. 256 00:11:56,153 --> 00:11:57,820 Here. 257 00:11:57,888 --> 00:11:59,322 Hide me. 258 00:12:01,024 --> 00:12:02,557 Hello, people. 259 00:12:02,625 --> 00:12:04,959 Hey, dad. 260 00:12:05,027 --> 00:12:08,261 Lime, salt, booze. 261 00:12:08,329 --> 00:12:10,598 Okay, where's your mother? 262 00:12:17,906 --> 00:12:19,006 I fe... 263 00:12:19,073 --> 00:12:21,374 Hmm, yes. 264 00:12:21,442 --> 00:12:24,510 If I were Joy, where... 265 00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:27,679 Would I be? 266 00:12:28,814 --> 00:12:30,782 All right, kids, come on out. 267 00:12:30,849 --> 00:12:32,984 Give me and your mom some privacy. Come on. 268 00:12:33,051 --> 00:12:35,085 Well, you don't... you don't think 269 00:12:35,153 --> 00:12:38,988 Maybe we should have a family discussion about this? 270 00:12:39,056 --> 00:12:41,123 Well, if I did, 271 00:12:41,191 --> 00:12:43,392 You and your hemp hat wouldn't be in the picture. 272 00:12:47,597 --> 00:12:49,932 Hi, babe. 273 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:51,733 I can't believe you. You're drunk. 274 00:12:51,801 --> 00:12:55,136 This is exactly what you did the first time you went to college. 275 00:12:55,204 --> 00:12:56,370 Except this time, 276 00:12:56,438 --> 00:12:59,005 I studied prior to my drinking. 277 00:13:00,441 --> 00:13:01,740 I'm good. Are you? 278 00:13:01,808 --> 00:13:02,908 Got it all up here. 279 00:13:02,975 --> 00:13:04,476 So... 280 00:13:04,543 --> 00:13:06,577 What have you been studying? 281 00:13:06,645 --> 00:13:09,479 Boston tea party. 282 00:13:09,546 --> 00:13:12,414 And what can you tell me about the boston tea party? 283 00:13:12,482 --> 00:13:14,316 It was in boston. 284 00:13:15,451 --> 00:13:16,551 But what happened? 285 00:13:16,619 --> 00:13:18,286 They threw the tea overboard. 286 00:13:18,354 --> 00:13:20,722 Who threw the tea overboard? 287 00:13:20,790 --> 00:13:22,757 The germans. 288 00:13:25,926 --> 00:13:27,993 Why would the germans come to boston 289 00:13:28,061 --> 00:13:29,894 To throw tea overboard? 290 00:13:29,962 --> 00:13:32,731 Eddie, germans are pretty mean. 291 00:13:32,798 --> 00:13:35,333 Ok, you are a hot mess. 292 00:13:35,401 --> 00:13:38,870 You were right, ok? I cannot do this 293 00:13:38,938 --> 00:13:40,605 At this point in my life. 294 00:13:40,673 --> 00:13:43,775 I mean, I go to work all day 295 00:13:43,842 --> 00:13:47,712 And then I come home and I have to fold your giant pants. 296 00:13:47,780 --> 00:13:49,414 I mean, do you know how long that takes? 297 00:13:49,481 --> 00:13:51,215 It's like packing up a tent. 298 00:13:51,283 --> 00:13:54,719 And I...I have a paper due that I have to write 299 00:13:54,786 --> 00:13:56,554 And it's due tomorrow, 300 00:13:56,621 --> 00:13:59,390 And if I don't get a b minus, I'm going to fail this class. 301 00:13:59,457 --> 00:14:00,991 Look, you're not going to fail it, ok? 302 00:14:01,059 --> 00:14:03,494 We're gonna write it together. I will help you. 303 00:14:03,561 --> 00:14:05,496 I'm a history teacher, you know. 304 00:14:05,563 --> 00:14:07,431 I don't want help! 305 00:14:07,499 --> 00:14:10,267 Okay? I just want it all to go away. 306 00:14:10,335 --> 00:14:13,504 Oh, come on, daddy! Come on! 307 00:14:13,571 --> 00:14:14,939 Oh, come on! 308 00:14:15,006 --> 00:14:16,607 Take me upstairs. Let's make a baby 309 00:14:16,675 --> 00:14:19,409 So mama doesn't have to go to school. 310 00:14:19,477 --> 00:14:21,845 Oh, no, no! 311 00:14:25,250 --> 00:14:27,517 I will take you upstairs, 312 00:14:27,585 --> 00:14:31,855 But immediately after, we're going to write this paper together. 313 00:14:36,023 --> 00:14:37,823 Joy... 314 00:14:37,891 --> 00:14:41,461 We're about to embark on a journey. 315 00:14:41,528 --> 00:14:44,263 A journey that, heretofore, 316 00:14:44,331 --> 00:14:48,234 You and I have never taken together. 317 00:14:48,301 --> 00:14:52,470 A journey through America. 318 00:14:52,538 --> 00:14:54,906 Let's get started, shall we? 319 00:14:54,974 --> 00:14:57,642 Okay, here we go. 320 00:14:59,979 --> 00:15:01,646 Honey, honey, honey. 321 00:15:01,714 --> 00:15:03,715 Let's pump the brakes a little here. 322 00:15:03,782 --> 00:15:06,184 Why?Hat's wrong? 323 00:15:06,252 --> 00:15:08,887 You just don't write a paper. 324 00:15:08,954 --> 00:15:12,424 You have to let the topic just wash over you. 325 00:15:12,491 --> 00:15:14,526 Do you understand? 326 00:15:14,594 --> 00:15:16,462 I'll tell you what... close your eyes. 327 00:15:16,529 --> 00:15:17,963 All right, why do I have to... 328 00:15:18,031 --> 00:15:20,666 Pssh, close your eyes. 329 00:15:22,536 --> 00:15:24,771 Where are we? 330 00:15:24,839 --> 00:15:26,039 We're in our house... 331 00:15:26,107 --> 00:15:29,109 Bop bop bop bop, where are we, darling? 332 00:15:29,177 --> 00:15:31,645 Is it... Philadelphia? 333 00:15:31,713 --> 00:15:34,781 Perhaps. But not the philly of today. 334 00:15:34,849 --> 00:15:40,286 It is 1776. 335 00:15:40,354 --> 00:15:42,155 And things are quite different. 336 00:15:42,222 --> 00:15:45,124 Is there a liberty bell? 337 00:15:45,192 --> 00:15:46,925 But guess what? 338 00:15:46,993 --> 00:15:49,194 No crack. 339 00:15:50,363 --> 00:15:52,164 There is a modest candle maker 340 00:15:52,231 --> 00:15:54,499 Named Jedidiah who seems... 341 00:15:54,567 --> 00:15:57,235 Wow, it is like I'm there. Let's get a'writin'! 342 00:15:57,303 --> 00:15:58,837 Okay! Honey, wait. 343 00:15:58,905 --> 00:16:00,506 Wait! 344 00:16:00,574 --> 00:16:01,608 Listen to me, listen to me. 345 00:16:01,675 --> 00:16:02,909 The first sentence is so important. 346 00:16:02,977 --> 00:16:04,744 It has to grab the reader by the throat 347 00:16:04,812 --> 00:16:06,079 And tell him, "hey, buddy, 348 00:16:06,147 --> 00:16:08,848 You're about to take the ride of your life!" 349 00:16:08,916 --> 00:16:10,050 Okay. 350 00:16:10,117 --> 00:16:11,518 Okay! 351 00:16:11,586 --> 00:16:13,787 How about something like... 352 00:16:17,425 --> 00:16:20,893 This. "when betsy ross started sewing that flag, 353 00:16:20,961 --> 00:16:23,095 "she had no idea how the revolution 354 00:16:23,163 --> 00:16:25,831 Would change the role of women in this country." 355 00:16:28,936 --> 00:16:31,572 Okay, or how about this? 356 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:32,840 What...do you mind? 357 00:16:32,908 --> 00:16:35,410 What...I'm sorry, you're right, that was rude. 358 00:16:35,478 --> 00:16:36,745 Okay. 359 00:16:36,812 --> 00:16:38,413 Let me take it over here. 360 00:16:41,050 --> 00:16:43,051 Passed the course! 361 00:16:43,119 --> 00:16:46,554 Hey! Congratulations. 362 00:16:46,622 --> 00:16:49,423 I got my paper back, and I have passed the course. 363 00:16:49,491 --> 00:16:51,659 Well, technically, we passed the course. 364 00:16:51,727 --> 00:16:52,927 You did most of the work, 365 00:16:52,995 --> 00:16:54,062 But I did sleep with you, 366 00:16:54,129 --> 00:16:55,831 So it's not like I didn't make any sacrifice. 367 00:16:55,900 --> 00:16:58,201 Okay. So, what'd you get? 368 00:16:58,268 --> 00:17:00,504 Ba-bling! B-minus. 369 00:17:00,571 --> 00:17:01,877 What's up! What's up! 370 00:17:03,379 --> 00:17:06,080 B-minus? 371 00:17:06,148 --> 00:17:07,884 B-minus. 372 00:17:09,922 --> 00:17:12,658 You saved my bacon, you giant jewish wordsmith. 373 00:17:12,726 --> 00:17:15,594 There's red marks all over here. 374 00:17:15,662 --> 00:17:17,763 It looks like somebody stabbed my paper. 375 00:17:17,831 --> 00:17:19,932 I don't understand. 376 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:22,201 What's to understand? I passed. 377 00:17:22,269 --> 00:17:23,536 I'm gonna go upstairs and freshen up, 378 00:17:23,603 --> 00:17:25,404 And we're gonna go for a celebratory dinner. 379 00:17:25,472 --> 00:17:27,773 But a b-minus is a grade for potheads, 380 00:17:27,841 --> 00:17:30,308 Pregnant girls, and dudes with mono. 381 00:17:32,179 --> 00:17:34,747 It's over, Eddie, let it go. 382 00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,712 Oh, it's far from over. 383 00:17:43,510 --> 00:17:45,909 Professor Debasky? 384 00:17:45,977 --> 00:17:47,209 How are you? 385 00:17:47,277 --> 00:17:49,308 I'm Eddie Stark. 386 00:17:49,376 --> 00:17:52,173 My wife Joy is in your class. 387 00:17:52,241 --> 00:17:53,573 Could we chat for just a second? 388 00:17:53,641 --> 00:17:55,372 Oh, of course. Please. 389 00:17:55,439 --> 00:17:56,771 Sorry about the small space. 390 00:17:56,839 --> 00:17:58,539 I'm getting a bigger office. 391 00:17:58,607 --> 00:18:02,010 If that poly sci professor would just hurry up and die already. 392 00:18:02,078 --> 00:18:04,579 I'm kidding. 393 00:18:04,647 --> 00:18:06,880 I am getting a bigger office, though. 394 00:18:06,948 --> 00:18:09,716 That part is no joke. 395 00:18:09,784 --> 00:18:11,985 Well, my wife really can't say enough about you. 396 00:18:12,020 --> 00:18:14,254 She loves your class. Oh, thanks. 397 00:18:14,322 --> 00:18:15,556 You must be a gifted instructor. 398 00:18:15,623 --> 00:18:17,157 Yes, thank you. 399 00:18:17,224 --> 00:18:18,358 It's totally wasted here. 400 00:18:18,426 --> 00:18:21,794 I'm in hell! 401 00:18:21,862 --> 00:18:23,930 Okay, it's... 402 00:18:23,997 --> 00:18:25,498 Actually, it's about her paper. 403 00:18:25,565 --> 00:18:27,366 You gave her a b-minus, and quite frankly, 404 00:18:27,434 --> 00:18:30,002 I was surprised. 405 00:18:30,070 --> 00:18:31,437 Let's see. 406 00:18:31,505 --> 00:18:32,605 Oh, yeah! 407 00:18:32,673 --> 00:18:35,041 Well, you know, it's not quite a minus pape 408 00:18:35,109 --> 00:18:37,277 But I feel like she worked hard on it. 409 00:18:37,345 --> 00:18:39,011 So, you're welcome. 410 00:18:41,482 --> 00:18:42,948 No, no, I don't think you understand. 411 00:18:43,016 --> 00:18:44,983 You see, I'm a history teacher. 412 00:18:45,051 --> 00:18:46,084 And I... 413 00:18:46,152 --> 00:18:47,118 Oh, where do you teach? 414 00:18:47,186 --> 00:18:48,253 Winston Churchill High School. 415 00:18:48,321 --> 00:18:51,456 Oh, high school. 416 00:18:51,524 --> 00:18:53,324 What does that mean? 417 00:18:53,392 --> 00:18:56,693 Well, looking at this paper from a high school standpoint, 418 00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:59,630 It's ok, but looking at it from a college standpoint... 419 00:18:59,697 --> 00:19:01,598 Community college. 420 00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:05,467 What does that mean? 421 00:19:05,535 --> 00:19:08,336 Ah, I think we both know what that means. 422 00:19:08,404 --> 00:19:12,238 What is it you would like me to do for you, Mr. Stark? 423 00:19:12,306 --> 00:19:14,639 Up the grade, my brother. 424 00:19:17,410 --> 00:19:19,210 Look, I have a meeting with my book agent 425 00:19:19,278 --> 00:19:21,646 At my mom's house in 15 minutes. 426 00:19:21,714 --> 00:19:24,282 In deference to your professional opinion, 427 00:19:24,350 --> 00:19:26,751 What do you say I just put a line through that nasty minus, 428 00:19:26,819 --> 00:19:28,686 Make it a b-plus? 429 00:19:28,754 --> 00:19:30,221 Well, that would be great, 430 00:19:30,289 --> 00:19:32,722 If it was a b-plus. 431 00:19:32,790 --> 00:19:34,022 But it's not. 432 00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:35,956 It's an "a." 433 00:19:36,024 --> 00:19:38,959 It is not an "a." 434 00:19:39,027 --> 00:19:40,794 It is. 435 00:19:40,862 --> 00:19:45,233 It is derivative and pedestrian. 436 00:19:45,300 --> 00:19:47,802 It is cogent and illuminating. 437 00:19:47,870 --> 00:19:50,038 Who the hell gets an "a" in your class 438 00:19:50,105 --> 00:19:52,073 If a history teacher gets a b-minus? 439 00:19:52,140 --> 00:19:55,443 But you didn't write it, Mr. Stark. Your wife did. 440 00:19:55,510 --> 00:19:59,312 What are you, crazy? 441 00:19:59,380 --> 00:20:02,181 "Soon, the Abigail Adams model became ubiquitous; 442 00:20:02,249 --> 00:20:05,351 The prototype for the modern day single mother." 443 00:20:05,418 --> 00:20:06,952 You think my dingbat wife could have written that? 444 00:20:07,020 --> 00:20:11,423 Come on, the woman doesn't even know how to pronounce wheelbarrow! 445 00:20:11,491 --> 00:20:13,826 You saying you wrote this paper? 446 00:20:13,894 --> 00:20:15,896 Did I stutter? 447 00:20:17,298 --> 00:20:20,701 Again, I'm really sorry I got you kicked out of college. 448 00:20:20,768 --> 00:20:22,002 Yes, I know. 449 00:20:22,070 --> 00:20:24,471 Look, I just... I just didn't think 450 00:20:24,539 --> 00:20:25,672 That I deserved a b-minus. 451 00:20:25,740 --> 00:20:27,040 Yes, you said that before. 452 00:20:27,108 --> 00:20:28,208 Well, yeah. I mean, you know, it wasn't 453 00:20:28,276 --> 00:20:29,810 The best thing I ever wrote, 454 00:20:29,877 --> 00:20:31,678 But clearly, I had to do it so quickly... 455 00:20:31,746 --> 00:20:33,246 Don't care. 456 00:20:34,649 --> 00:20:37,583 And by the way, you don't need a piece of paper 457 00:20:37,651 --> 00:20:39,085 To tell you how smart you are. 458 00:20:39,153 --> 00:20:41,253 You're very smart. 459 00:20:41,321 --> 00:20:42,888 You know, you're no magellan, 460 00:20:42,956 --> 00:20:45,891 But you got life experiences, you got common sense, 461 00:20:45,959 --> 00:20:48,094 You can't find that in a book, right? 462 00:20:48,162 --> 00:20:49,962 You know what? 463 00:20:50,030 --> 00:20:52,431 You're right. 464 00:20:52,499 --> 00:20:54,533 I don't need to prove anything to anybody. 465 00:20:54,601 --> 00:20:56,268 That's my girl. 466 00:20:57,870 --> 00:21:00,071 Hi. Hey. 467 00:21:00,072 --> 00:21:01,339 Are you guys ready to order 468 00:21:01,407 --> 00:21:02,941 Yes, we are. Hey.I will have 469 00:21:03,009 --> 00:21:06,678 The bacon barbecue cheddar burger, and... 470 00:21:06,746 --> 00:21:10,981 The boneless wing trio. 471 00:21:11,049 --> 00:21:12,415 And for you? 472 00:21:12,483 --> 00:21:14,884 I'm feeling like italian tonight. 473 00:21:14,951 --> 00:21:17,619 I'd like to try the gnocchi. 474 00:21:20,089 --> 00:21:21,156 Did you mean the... 475 00:21:21,223 --> 00:21:23,124 Bop, bop, bop, bop, she means the gnocchi! 476 00:21:23,192 --> 00:21:24,325 Go get it! 477 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:30,000 Sync by fant0m www.addic7ed.com 478 00:21:30,050 --> 00:21:34,600 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0